Getting married isn’t the same as living together. It is a bigger step that doesn’t bring together just the two of you, but also, brings together two families.
Sudden marriages, before getting to know each-other well enough, almost never last and don’t end up with a peaceful break-up either.
So, before you decide to go down the aisle with your partner, ask yourself and your partner these very crucial 20 questions. It’s better to be safe than sorry.
1. Who am I?
This is the basic question, because if you don’t know who you are, what your aims and goals for life are, how would you know who you want to be walking the life path with?
2. Am I happy to be in a relationship?
Let’s face it, not everyone is the “marriage material type”. If you are forcing yourself or your partner to be in a relationship just because the world is doing it, don’t get married.
3. Am I feeling trapped in this relationship?
Supporting without getting jealous and getting the feeling that you “belong to someone” is what a healthy relationship should look like. If you feel suffocated, don’t think it is going to change after you make an even bigger step towards bonding.
4. Is this relationship balanced?
Are you both on the same page, or is someone always making bigger sacrifices?
5. Can we have fun together?
We have all seen many couples that don’t have anything to say to each other and always want to spend time with other people, just to have fun. Think about the two of you and answer this one, because getting bored is something no relationship survives.
6. Am I doing something to hold us back?
Are you pushing your partner away, are you not being there when needed, are your other obligations more important than your relationship?
7. Do we really accept who we are?
First of all, do we really know who we are, honestly?
8. Is it making me a better person?
Is your partner intimidated and unsupportive towards your successes? Or does he make you feel loved and supports your decisions?
9. Does my partner have my back?
Even if you do something wrong, is he there to jus judge you, or to judge you and make you understand what you did was wrong and also, help you correct the wrong doing?
10. Am I a parent or a partner?
Is your partner always needy an you have to take care of yourself and for him, but you don’t get the same treatment?
11. Am I with a good person?
If your partner is kind with you, but not other people as well, do you want to be with this type of a person?
12. Do I really trust my partner?
Or you constantly feel the urge to double-check their stories with their friends, or secretly on their social networks? Or you can openly talk about everything?
13. Where is this going?
Are you checking in with one another and aware of the other person’s expectations?
14. Are we looking in the same direction?
Avoiding the “big talks”, such as moving in a bigger house, quitting jobs and working freelance, having children .. isn’t healthy. It’s better to talk things out, even if you disagree on something, than to silently keep the relationship going, without any sudden movements and thrills.
15. Am I still me?
Do you remember who you were before you became a partner? Do you feel yourself in you?
16. Are we growing together?
Or just surviving the world together?
17. Am I attracted to my partner?
Or is my partner just a habit that I don’t want to throw away, even though I secretly desire other things, that I even dream of?
18. Why am I in this relationship?
Out of fear t be alone, or out of love for this person?
19. Can we have fun apart?
Or we will be just “parasyting” each other, holding each other without the thrill to be positive about the possibility of separated happiness?
20. What is my gut telling me?
Always listen to this, intuition never lies.